# Melissa Nathalia > Writer, musician, filmmaker Public Ghost content for AI and LLM tooling. This file includes a bounded export of public pages first, then recent public posts. Append `.md` to any post or page URL to get the content in Markdown (for example, `/example-post.md`). ## Pages ### About Me URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/about/ Last updated: 2026-06-19T14:12:16.000Z I am a lover of words, sounds, and lighting - and this drives the majority of my world-building endeavours. I started songwriting at the age of 7, then started recording music in Kenya (I'm third generation Kenyan-Indian) at the age of 14. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/469406176_10164691426690744_2089494916192888514_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/469229599_10164691426310744_6524482183943133058_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/469221688_10164691426270744_2858582992416247446_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/469179849_10164691426305744_6271118126025184496_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/469061660_10164691426300744_252223128552468936_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/469353357_10164691426275744_3497231325954321962_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/469183563_10164691426720744_5425816693033438777_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/469113896_10164691426290744_8727314737338731893_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/469199891_10164691426715744_3155581722714417091_n.jpg) Some of the press from 2004-2008 After dropping out of high school involuntarily, I took up photography - going from fashion to portraiture.... ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/36732390_10157561080775744_4962576016057827328_n-4.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/36823949_10157561085230744_8913232091928330240_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/36799579_10157561148310744_3590404733161963520_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/36728162_10157561078740744_6863642735857893376_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/36747117_10157561090005744_6756163477082996736_n-2.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/36785212_10157561076300744_3481775904915456000_n-2.jpg) ....to relationships and people-centred events .... ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/36815703_10157561134075744_8179321858642935808_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/36859576_10157561141245744_448841970970787840_n-2.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/472014797_10164787217175744_6773765158329148415_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/472011230_10164813507130744_6983272802733405255_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/471804793_10164787217970744_6136638376154825824_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/468757793_10164573651720744_4777657458971248426_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/468855565_10164573651710744_1551812883873690686_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_3783.jpg) From there, I began to write online with full vulnerability, accompanying most of my shares with self-portraits. I began a self-portrait series called "Finding the Beauty in Me", where I documented my journey from extreme illness to strength and wellness through holistic means, after multiple misdiagnoses and being let down repeatedly by the Western medical system. From this, my clients started seeking me out for more therapeutic packages, where we would take the time to explore the Self through imagery. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/468714199_10164491425870744_2734182483425092389_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/468445372_10164383484530744_1725745978734462659_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/471504366_10164756565290744_6651060393557603838_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/468630528_10164572351630744_3364910425143731211_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/468459090_10164545935830744_3728483605139146456_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/468774998_10164547300095744_2900492502756602898_n.jpg) The majority of my testimonials were related to self-love and self-worth. It didn't take long before I realised that I had been doing shadow work coaching with clients without realising it. I had a knack for seeing the hidden in people, and shining a light on what they were avoiding or simply couldn't see. That's when I began to offer shadow work for performers and creatives who wanted to reveal more of who they truly are to their audience. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_4338-2.JPG) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_3729-3.jpg) 10 years of obsessive study on brand identity and online marketing meant that I quickly turned toward group coaching, helping creative personal brands also figure out entire sales funnels and ways to scale, or getting granular and figuring out where their mental blocks were causing them to portray themselves as something they're not. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_8254.JPG) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_8259.JPG) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_8220.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_8223.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_8224.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_8227.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_8229.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/IMG_8257.JPG) Eventually I burned out from doing this work - not because it wasn't fun or fulfilling, but because I had been so busy helping others be more honest with themselves, I had found a way to avoid the ways I needed to do that for me. I decided to get back to what my heart wanted to do most - writing and creating. In fact, the only reason I got into photography was so that I could support my music - and the only reason I obsessively studied online business and personal branding (as well as learning how to make my own websites, coding, copywriting, and more) was so that I could create an ecosystem for a book I had wanted to write. To complicate matters further, I realised it was film all along that drew me in - but because it just was not an accessible medium to me as a 19 year old in Kenya, I opted for photography until I finally admitted to myself that it was film that had rooted me all along. So now, here I am - starting over, but with more honesty this time. 👁️ ****IYKYK Snapshot** **Human Design*: 5/1 Emotional Manifesting Generator **Enneagram*: 3w4 **Astrology*: Pisces Sun/Merc/Venus 12H/11H, Gemini Jupiter/Mars 1H, Leo Moon 4H, Taurus Rising **Jungian cognitive functions*: NiTeFiSe (making me an INTJ) **Clifton Strengths*: 1\. Ideation 2\. Individualisation 3\. Strategic 4\. Learner 5\. Futuristic 6\. Belief 7\. Achiever 8\. Arranger 9\. Activator 10\. Competition ### The Story behind Melissa Mondays URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/the-story-behind-melissa-mondays/ Last updated: 2026-06-25T11:18:14.000Z ## Sign up for Melissa Mondays (and a weekly update on my book) Subscribe Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. Please don't forget to click the confirmation link in the email, or else you won't be subscribed! <3 12 years ago - before social media was used to share things that weren’t just your personal images - I decided to make a weekly newsletter called “Melissa Mondays”, where I’d share helpful things I found on the internet. And cat pictures. And some of my art news. *(Keep scrolling all the way to the bottom for an ancient example of said newsletter)* It was whimsical and sassy, and full of the courage to be a little bit weird at a time when professionalism rules and newsletters like that just weren't the thing you did as creative business owner. I felt so weird for it - "why would anyone want to sign up to a newsletter that had pure chaos and no niche?" - I eventually gave up on the whole thing. It certainly ached a decade later when I discovered that this wasn't just a thing now, but people were actually earning their income off it (Years later, I would take a CliftonStrengths test and discover Futuristic as one of my top 5 strengths)! I digress (I do this often). It took me a few more years of planning a Very Serious Fantasy Novel *(much respectable, so honorary)* and a massive existential crisis to realise that my voice is only really authentic when I'm being my chaotic, sassy, whimsical Melissa Monday self. Now, as a writer who cares more about the cadence and feel of words than the actual storyline (possibly due to my 30 years of songwriting), I'm obsessed with etymology - so all of the things I've named in the last 18 years of being in business, from offerings to brands, have involved lots of research into the etymology of potential words. Last week I discovered the etymology of the word "silly", after realising I use that word to describe myself and the things I love a lot. Despite it having negative connotations, something about the word just felt so affectionate and loving in my body. > Middle English *seli, seely,* from Old English *gesælig* "happy, fortuitous, prosperous" (related to *sæl* "happiness"), from Proto-Germanic *sæligas* (source also of Old Norse *sæll* "happy," Old Saxon *salig*, Middle Dutch *salich*, Old High German *salig*, German *selig* "blessed, happy, blissful," Gothic *sels* "good, kindhearted"). > etymonline.com One of my big themes in my fiction writing is the demonisation of that which was previously sacred. It is no surprise, then - at least to my kismet-loving self - that I would be so enamoured by this word that once was akin to being blessed, only to eventually be toppled by public perspective. > The word's considerable sense development moved it by various streams from "happy" through "blessed;" "pious;" "innocent" (c. 1200), to "harmless," to "pitiable" (late 13c.), "weak" (c. 1300), to "feeble in mind, lacking in reason, foolish" (1570s). > etymonline.com Alas, a weekly schedule did not fit in my extreme chaos at the time. Melissa Mondays became less weekly and more “whenever I remember”. I changed mailing list providers 50 times - and somehow had the same people sign up every time - and eventually let life drown me into no longer working on the newsletters. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/Screenshot-2026-06-18-at-20.05.22.png) There was a lot of love for my silliness, but I let my inner critic win... for a while. Now, 12 years later - *God I'm old* \- I have come to the realisation that my silliness, my whimsy, my chaos - *all the things I was criticised for* \- are actually my strengths. And so, I bring you (back): Melissa Mondays! Thank you for joining me. ## Sign up for Melissa Mondays Writer, musician, filmmaker Subscribe Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/Screenshot-2026-06-18-at-19.42.33-1.png) One of my oldest friends and subscribers sent me this screenshot of my first ever newsletter! Thanks, Wasim! ### Current projects URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/current-projects/ Last updated: 2026-06-18T14:07:12.000Z I am not capable of working on one thing at a time - in fact, it took me many years to learn that doing so slows me down. Here's an updated list of my current projects. As a solo artist, I'm currently producing and writing an 8-track album titled Utaniona, for which I will be doing everything but the final mix and master. I'm hoping to also direct a few music videos for this project. ## Numina Noctis **Numina Noctis is an alternate-history fantasy/sci-fi multiverse that ties all of my narrative projects together. It consists of 11 worlds based on astrological and Jungian archetypes.** **Notes from the Numina** is a mysterious in-world collection of journeys, lore and delightful trinkets that explore the worlds of Numina Noctis - and the Self. I'm currently working on the website, where I will be releasing digital products (meditations, letters from characters) and physical products (scented planetary candles, home goods, and eventually handmade perfumes). **Melakatoro Games** was a natural partnership evolution between myself and my excellent friend Victoria Robertson after 15 years of friendship built upon a mutual foundation of gaming and self-exploration. Our current focus is a narrative adventure game, where you partake in a cosy mystery aboard the first ever train from Earth to Saturn. **The Numina Express** is an audio fiction series written and produced by me, with the help of some very talented voice actors. It takes place long after the first Numina express train to Saturn, and follows an unnamed passenger as they move through the many carriages. After writing, producing, and directing my first short film - currently unedited - I am now working on a second screenplay within Numina Noctis. More details TBA. ### My AI Policy URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/my-ai-policy/ Last updated: 2026-06-18T14:35:22.000Z I do not belong to the group of people who froth at the mouth upon mere mention of AI, believing that AI will make us all rich and happy. A large percentage of this group are unfortunately grifters. However, I also do not belong in the group of people who scream that AI is terrible while unknowingly using AI for a lot of the things that they rely on. A large percentage of this group are unfortunately uninformed. As someone who spent hours upon hours in online conversations and chatrooms with folks who work on the backend of innovative technologies like AI as well as cryptocurrency (see the first two paragraphs for my thoughts on that, too) - I have developed a very nuanced stance on AI. Nuance requires time, energy, and specificity, which painting a broad brushstroke does not. As a result, this page will require a lot of thought and energy - for me to write it, but also for you as the reader. May it inspire a nuanced stance in you, too, on topics that normally evoke reactivity. ## COMING SOON ### Writing URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/writing/ Last updated: 2026-06-22T12:26:03.000Z _No content available._ ### Books URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/books/ Last updated: 2026-06-22T16:18:48.000Z _No content available._ ### Home hero URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/home-hero/ Last updated: 2026-06-22T12:38:16.000Z # Welcome to my silly little online garden. Eventually, this is where you will find my serial fiction (in the form of writing and audio), non-fiction (via podcasts and essays), and behind-the-scenes news on other projects in the form of my quirky weekly newsletter, Melissa Mondays. PS Did you know that "silly" used to be a word to describe joy and blessings? Since a lot of my work is about reclamation of that which has been demonised, I figured I'd let you know from the start what you're in for. > xoxo > *A true Chaos Goblin* ### Home quote URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/home-quote/ Last updated: 2026-06-25T14:57:56.000Z ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/96/c6/96c66309-0312-4b16-b9bc-2fbbb90cbc0a/content/images/2026/06/images.jpeg) #### Chisomo "Chips Chipo" Nkhoma VFX supervisor, longtime collaborator and friend **Sometimes hilarious.* ### Subscribe URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/subscribe/ Last updated: 2026-06-22T12:36:15.000Z ## Want to connect more? - **Hear from me weekly about my projects.** Melissa Mondays is my quirky little newsletter with a quick rundown of what's happening in my world (along with some randomness). - **Join me live on my fiction-writing journey.** I am writing my first book! I will be sharing each piece of the first draft privately with those who are keen to read it firsthand. It'll be like looking over my shoulder while I write, only slightly less creepy. ### Melissa Mondays URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/melissa-mondays/ Last updated: 2026-06-25T11:01:52.000Z Want to know the story behind Melissa Mondays? [Click here to read it.](https://www.melissanathalia.com/the-story-behind-melissa-mondays/) ## Sign up for Melissa Mondays (as well as updates on my art) Subscribe Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. Please don't forget to click the confirmation link in the next email, or else you won't be subscribed. ## Posts ### Tabitha URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/all/tabitha/ Last updated: 2026-07-20T03:47:18.000Z “Unless you enjoy a good murder?” The sentence jolted Tabitha out of her daydream, back into the nightmare that was her third date of the month. “Uh yes, good point. Too many ravens spoil the broth, and all that,” she offered. “*Crows.”* He seemed unamused by her disinterest in birds. Which would be understandable if it had been a good date, but so far, she had only been spoken to about birds for a good - nay, *terrible* \- hour, and at this point she was struggling to stay focused. “Yes, yes, crows! But speaking of crows…” Tabitha trailed off, hoping that he would somehow take her cue. He did *not* take her cue. _This post is for subscribers only._ ### Veer URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/all/veer/ Last updated: 2026-06-28T06:17:05.000Z “JOIN YOUR QUEEN NOW.” Veer internally rolled his eyes at the newspaper headline barking at him from the cafe counter without his consent. If there was one thing he wanted less before making a morning cup of coffee, it was the idea of joining the national guard. He’d already overheard two officers talking to his boss about the shortage of armed forces, and the queen was expected to make an announcement by the end of the day proposing a new plan. But Veer wasn’t interested in her plans - or anything she said, for that matter. Right now, all that mattered was keeping his job - or else it was to the farms for him - or worse. Of course, crotchety old Mrs Nahina wasn’t making his goals easy for him. She pointed at the newspaper article headline emphatically, peering at him from over her glasses. “Boy, are you even listening to me?” _This post is for subscribers only._ ### Prologue: Snapshots of a Broken Sky URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/all/prologue/ Last updated: 2026-06-28T06:01:39.000Z Prologue 0:00 /330.1546666666667 1× The sound of muffled explosions in the background seemed insignificant next to the loudness of her own laboured breathing. The world was pitch black, but her steady heartbeat and breathing sounds told her she was alive. Alive but... where? And how? And *who*\- Before her thought could finish, she slipped back out of consciousness. --- A stern commanding voice snapped her back into the land of the living. "Survivors! Reveal yourselves! We are allies!" The woman slowly opened her eyes to a military officer, sifting his way through piles of bodies nearby while barking out the command like a refrain he was quickly tiring of. The sharpness of the scene made her whince, moreso than the throbbing in her chest that she was suddenly aware of. Blood, everywhere. Dismembered limbs, broken weapons, and the sky- the sky was *gone*. In its place was some sort of extreme brightness that didn't feel like true sunlight, but a replica made by someone who had studied it in books but never experienced it. *Where was the sun?!* "Hey! Jasper! We got the last one over there." The officer beckoned at another survivor, clearly not in the state to walk leave alone help someone else do so. "Move her into the stronghold." The man called Jasper grimaced in what seemed like pain, but moved towards her anyway, albeit with some hesitation. "I'm alright," the woman said, with all the warmth she could muster as she propped herself up on one elbow. "I'll stay here for a little bit, you go ahead." Jasper quickly glanced at the military man, and when he looked back at her, she recognised fear in his eyes. That had not been a suggestion, but a command. She begrudgingly held her hand up to Jasper. He gave her a tired smile and clearly braced himself as he pulled at her arm. A look of relief appeared on his face as she came across as lighter than expected. He had no idea it was because she was using all the strength she had. --- As they walked with their arms around each other, unsure of who was supporting who more, the woman noted that the path to the stronghold felt longer than expected. Perhaps it was the excruciating pain in her chest, or the relentless brightness that her eyes somehow still couldn't get used to. Or, maybe, it was the view of hundreds of people on the ground that she didn't know - and now, never would. Her eyes stung at the thought. "I'm Jasper." Jasper clearly had very little understanding for appropriate timing. "I'm...." The woman trailed off, but Jasper helpfully interrupted her increasingly darkening thoughts. "It's ok. Jasper's not my name either, I made it up just now." He nodded at the military man. "He asked me what he could call me, and Jasper was the first thing that popped up." The woman felt a sinking feeling as she realised the only person who seemed friendly might not have answers for her. The walk would have been nice in different circumstances. The path itself had been clearly hand-laid, with each stone having been set with precision but a little trace of human imperfection - turning it from lifeless path to an artistic experience. But those stones didn’t seem like anything she had ever seen, in fact the texture almost seemed similar to animal bones, but denser and larger. Like a hunter’s winnings, out on display. "It's a treasure, you know?" The woman stopped walking and looked up at Jasper, startled. "My name! The etymology of Jasper in some cultures meant treasure, while I also know it more commonly to refer to a stone. I have no idea how I know that but I don't know my own name, but never mind. Words are fascinating even in times of darkness, ey?" The woman sighed as they continued their slow descent on the path to a giant wall a few thousand steps away. This was going to be a very long journey. Lulled by the gentle drum of the pace being kept by the officers escorting them, she found herself taking in the details of each stone she stepped on, until her eye was suddenly caught by an old inscription in the cobbled stones that lined parts of the path. It likely had been part of a longer word once as both sides were scratched off, but she felt a sense of belonging to the way the letters formed in her mind. “Well, Jasper, I guess my name is Eres-” “Ah, the bringer of chaos! Well, Eris, it’s nice to meet you.” Eris sighed. That would work, too. ## Want more? Sign up to receive a weekly excerpt of the book as well as Melissa Mondays! Subscribe Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. Please be sure to click the confirmation link in your email, or else future posts will not deliver! ### Join me as I write my debut novel - publicly. URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/the-debut/ Last updated: 2026-06-28T06:00:53.000Z ### Synopsis of the opening pages: *The sky has been destroyed by primordial goddess Tiamat, leaving its strongest soldiers without memory, and all gods and magic banished to the underworld.* *A scrawny barista would love nothing better than to be disqualified - or skipped over entirely - from military service, but the elvish dakshini have other plans for him.* *A true believer yearns to change all of history and release the gods from the underworld - while Bee, keeper of a menagerie for monsters, just wants to be left alone by all the Big Happenings™️ of the world, so she can finally have a cup of coffee... but banished magic - and baby dragons - keep getting in her way.* **Genre**: dark fantasy/sci-fi with a healthy dose of whimsy, cosiness - and romance **Spice:** 0/5 **Darkness:** 4/5 **What you'll get if you sign up to the journey:** - forever free private access to the first draft of the entire book - audio versions of every single piece of writing - the ability to go back to old chapters by clicking on "the debut" at the top of each excerpt - a live look at my process of writing the book as it unfolds - *Coming soon*: a paid tier with polls that influence the book's trajectory, and Q&As **Author's Note:** This is an origin story in a fantasy world I've been slowly building since 2016 - it may turn out to be a 1000+ page novel or it may turn out to be a series. I generally don't like the idea of extending books into a series just for sales, but I also want to listen to feedback from my readers: if you prefer shorter books, then maybe we'll do just that. ### ### What I learned in 2021 that I wish I had learned far sooner URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/what-i-learned-in-2021-that-i-wish-i-had-learned-far-sooner/ Last updated: 2026-06-27T13:35:44.000Z ✨ A note on the em-dash usage: Please note that this post was imported directly from my old Medium account. Medium has a habit of replacing any short hyphens with this now notorious em-dash symbol —. While I've been a writer for over 2 decades, I apparently never quite learned to use the em-dash in the "correct" way (which feels rather odd to my eye in terms of spacing). Therefore, if you ever see a post of mine that has one of these — it's either imported from Medium, been formatted "correctly" by a human editor ([see my thoughts on AI use here](https://www.melissanathalia.com/my-ai-policy/)), or... it's the time of the robot takeover and ChatGPT has infected my brain. Either way, it's not my fault! We are still in the depths of winter, so I find myself hesitant to ritualistically mark the beginning of a new stage when this calendar is essentially man-made. Like almost every people since the dawn of time, it feels more right to claim spring as a new beginning, when Aries opens it newborn eyes after elder Pisces goes to sleep. Why create something new when the old has not yet finished? But there is something to be said for a date celebrated by millions at the same time. And so, instead of promises of a new beginning when I’m still amidst a healing slumber, I’d like to share the most potent lessons that I learned in 2021\. May they bring you something of value. ### **Healthy love is likely everything you thought it was not.** The love game is broken. The dating and relationship rules out there are usually the exact opposite of what happily 10-year-plus married couples — and your therapist — will say. I’ve chosen to only ask for relationship advice from them, and it has made me an overall healthier person — as well as disillusioned at how much we are led astray by advice from people who haven’t actually lived the true workings of a long-lasting love story. I have learned to listen to advice from people whose emotional regulation I trust, and who I would be pleased to accidentally trade lives with. The rest may mean well, but will likely give me advice based on where they are at…. not where I want to be. PS being married doesn’t make for good relationship advice if it’s from people in unhealthy marriages. Sounds logical, and yet I’ve spent years asking advice from people who are in toxic dynamics themselves. ### Discomfort is not suffering or pain — and I am not a victim of anything permanently. Today it is very easy to conflate discomfort (rejection, other forms of not getting our way, and even diagnoses) with the loss and pain that this would have caused us as helpless children. We claim these concepts as being an unmovable object instead of something to overcome. But we are not helpless children anymore, and a lot of my growth this year has come from realising that not living exactly how I want doesn’t make me a victim. Impatience won’t kill me. Struggle doesn’t mean I’m being harmed. Having certain traits and behaviours that are unhealthy doesn’t mean I’ll always be that way. Being abandoned doesn’t make me the victim of anyone but my own expectations and demands. As an acupuncturist of mine once said, “it’s not that you \*are\* a depressed person — you currently have the \*symptoms\* of depression — the latter reframed will allow you to break each one down into manageable coping mechanisms, as opposed to a permanent state”. And he was right. ### Life is very fucking short — and people I think I’ll have time with will die before I expect them to. I lost a client I was supposed to do end-of-life photography with. I was hospitalised via ambulance, and quite frankly, was afraid I wouldn’t leave the hospital. I’ve lost multiple people to COVID, some much younger than me. In all these situations I understood that one day you can be here… the next you might not be. You don’t get to choose, control, or decide when — but you can rise up to the challenge to make sure you take your last breath without any regrets. ### When I am most convinced that I am right, I am probably not. The more open we are to being wrong, the more likely we have emotionally regulated and are viewing the situation without bias. The more we hold on to our rightness, the more is likely at stake if we turned out to be wrong. Perhaps our entire identity depends on this being correct. And so, this year, I’ve noted that when I’m stubbornly putting an exclamation mark after a sentence, with no room for a question mark…. something is asking to be explored. And it will not be fun. ### Most people are not able to view humans through a trauma lens, but from a space of judgment instead. That’s a quote from my therapist yesterday. She was saying that it’s easy to say someone is being manipulative, attention-seeking, toxic, and all those other words we use to dismiss and dehumanise and cancel — but it’s a lot harder to understand and show compassion for where people are coming from. We rank other people’s toxicity as unforgivable but expect understanding for our own — or ignore our own, repressing it so we can focus on other people’s wrongdoings instead. But we barely give ourselves true compassion, so how can we expect it from another? ### Life is only just beginning — and it will always be this way. I think we all have this idea that there’s an elusive stage we’ll reach where we’ll have a particular thing figured out. Where we’ll be ready \*once\* xyz happens. I’m starting to realise that that idea is what robs us of life itself. You blink and now ten years have passed — and not only have you not reached that elusive place, but you haven’t reached readiness either. I thought I’d know myself by now, be in a certain place by now, but it turns out… I’m only just getting started. ### Everything I was avoiding “for later” — or for not at all — was usually my brain trying to avoid the very things that would help me be where I wanted to be…. for “protection”. Brains will tell you it’s a gut instinct, or suffering, or anxiety, or depression, when you find yourself resistant to something or someone. Or your brain will be like, “I just need x and THEN I’ll be in the headspace to do y”. Your brain is lying to you. My brain has lied to me for over half a decade that I am too broke to be the generous person I used to be, that I am too broke to look after myself properly, that I don’t have the energy or time to do what makes me happy, that I’ll connect with what I love “once I’m more settled”. But like a master saboteur, my brain then kept me unsettled so that I’d never reach that elusive space. Turns out…. the thing you’re saying needs to happen before you do xyz? Will only happen when you xyz. I hate it… because it’s robbed me of a decade or more of not doing what I love. But I love it because, once I figured this out… life shifted to being more my own, less at the whim of something I couldn’t control. Don’t underestimate how much of your opinions and actions are just defense mechanisms because your brain thinks it’s protecting you, but is really just holding you back. Everything you want but deny yourself, and wish for secretly… what if they weren’t crazy wishes but whispers from something you don’t understand? What if your dreams aren’t intangible ghosts but the cheat sheet at the back of your most difficult math book? ### You are so much closer than you realise. Sometimes I find myself feeling like there’s a mountain of steps left before I can even feel a semblance of control or achievement in certain areas of my life. I’ve learned that with the right work — especially on mindset, goodness me is gratitude and breathwork wrongly dismissed, especially by myself — things can change for the better in such an instant that we wondered how we ever lived life differently. It’s usually the point where I want to throw in the towel that what I wanted was actually right around the corner. **Keep going.** May the rest of this slumber until Aries season bring you the strength to shed what you no longer need, the wisdom to rest when your ego is screaming at you to push yourself, and the discipline to push yourself when your brain is telling you it’s impossible to continue. May you enter the spring renewed, with an understanding that winter had to bring death in order for the life you want to exist. Happy New Year. ### Is social media guilt destroying your mental peace? URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/is-social-media-guilt-destroying-your-mental-peace/ Last updated: 2026-06-28T06:41:37.000Z ✨ A note on the em-dash usage: Please note that this post was imported directly from my old Medium account. Medium has a habit of replacing any short hyphens with this now notorious em-dash symbol —. While I've been a writer for over 2 decades, I apparently never quite learned to use the em-dash in the "correct" way (which feels rather odd to my eye in terms of spacing). Therefore, if you ever see a post of mine that has one of these — it's either imported from Medium, been formatted "correctly" by a human editor ([see my thoughts on AI use here](https://www.melissanathalia.com/my-ai-policy/)), or... it's the time of the robot takeover and ChatGPT has infected my brain. Either way, it's not my fault! If people showed up on your doorstep whenever they thought of you, would you feel obligated to open the door to them? Or would you politely ask them to come back later? What if there were dozens of people doing this, day in, day out? You’d stop answering the door unless you had the energy, right? You wouldn’t rush to the door all day, just because you heard the doorbell. So why do we feel like the existence of a messaging system on social media somehow means we must make ourselves available to it? Who asked us whether we WANTED to be available? I don’t remember ever signing up to being emotionally and mentally available just because I enjoyed sharing a stupid cat video! Yes, I want to stay connected with your existence through a friend request, Jane, but no, I don’t want to have to cater to your unaddressed emotional issues. Yes, I want to be in touch with a lot of you wonderful people — but not at the cost of my mental peace. We must stop accepting that an *\*existence\** of a messaging system somehow means an obligation to cater to the unwritten rules that we have created as a community. Yes, every space has its culture, but not adhering to internet culture only makes you lame in the eyes of people with the emotional intelligence of a leftover sandwich, so what are you really losing out on? I write this today because Facebook keeps reminding me that I’ve been promising a message catch-up SINCE 2010 and I’m quite honestly pretty tired of carrying a burden of guilt that isn’t necessary. As a result, I’ve been less of a friend to the people I care about — lumping their correspondence in with the guilt-inducing pile of steadily growing messages by people who feel entitled to my attention and energy. In my entire friendship history, my most genuine friends loved me both when I could and when I couldn’t reply. And my closest friends? They loved me when I didn’t *\*want\** to. Yes. That is an option. Not wanting to open the door because you quite frankly can’t be arsed to communicate with another human being today — that is an option that you have the right to use. No is a full sentence, and we must stop adding reasons and excuses and lies and softeners in order to avoid upsetting others. We must stop carrying guilt that people do not deserve. Those who actually matter don’t mind, and vice versa — so here it is: your permission slip. Have you ever considered only checking social media messages once a week? Once a month? Go ahead and do that. Have you considered only replying to the people that you feel good about, and literally not opening the door to people you don’t want in your home? Makes sense. Is your mental health fragile, and would you prefer to create a cocoon that allows you to be at your fullest when you do message people? THIS IS YOUR RIGHT. “But what about….????” Work-related conversations that are worth your time will use Google or ask for your email address, and close friends will have your number. Now what? Of course I’m aware that you are part of society — I’m not suggesting you turn into an awful person who is rude to everyone. I’d like to trust that anyone who has actually read this far and enjoys my content, is also someone who has self-awareness and morals! Of course it’s important to consider other people’s feelings. But in this online world where we are suddenly “connected” to someone with one click, how many people can we afford to consider before we completely lose ourselves in the process? I say this as the person who feels GUILTY for blocking and muting persistent people who have proven themselves self-absorbed and ingenuine — and if I’m doing it, then I know you might be, too. If I, Ms Piscean Softie of Softeria, can express this, see this as the gust of wind that pushes you to choose yourself over the pressures of social media. Every message sent out of obligation is taking away from the activities and people that make you feel seen and safe. Every hour that goes to absorption of the uninvited is one less hour of anything you want to invite more of into your life. Your home is sacred — and since the only real home you have is the one that lets you look at the world — so let’s treat it that way. You didn’t sign up for a pager with 24h availability, so why live like you did? ### 6 lessons learned from severe burn-out URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/6-lessons-learned-from-severe-burn-out/ Last updated: 2026-06-27T13:35:23.000Z ✨ A note on the em-dash usage: Please note that this post was imported directly from my old Medium account. Medium has a habit of replacing any short hyphens with this now notorious em-dash symbol —. While I've been a writer for over 2 decades, I apparently never quite learned to use the em-dash in the "correct" way (which feels rather odd to my eye in terms of spacing). Therefore, if you ever see a post of mine that has one of these — it's either imported from Medium, been formatted "correctly" by a human editor ([see my thoughts on AI use here](https://www.melissanathalia.com/my-ai-policy/)), or... it's the time of the robot takeover and ChatGPT has infected my brain. Either way, it's not my fault! #### “Most painless way to commit suicide,” I typed. I knew that this was silly. I’d been here before — and I hadn’t ended up dead. Instead, Google had cleverly taken me to Good Samaritans websites, cleverly disguised as a how-to haven for those who felt like they had run out of options. Even when you wanted true autonomy, Google was watching. I rolled my eyes at the thought, a little part of me noting that there was a sense of life behind the simple gesture of eye-rolling. I ignored that thought, and continued with my search. The last time I had done this search, I had ended up on the phone with a Good Samaritan in NYC, who saved my life that day. Not really though — I never truly intended to do it, primarily because of fear when it came to the actual acts required. But if someone had offered an off-button, I’d have happily pressed it like Dee-Dee. Deep down, though, I knew. I knew that I’d have been unlikely to press it. Somehow, age has brought with it a balanced perspective. So, even at my worst moments — there’s a calm parental voice within me, an all-knowing one, that says, “Really, you want to die? That feeling is valid. But…. let’s sleep on it for a few nights. You don’t make good decisions when you’re tired.” Luckily, that voice is strong. And so, I spent a few hours doing my research, musing at the fact that if we saw death as a right, we wouldn’t be stopping people from making a personal choice. But that’s a discussion on euthanasia — and not what this blog post is about. So… burnout. That’s been my reality for over 1.5 years — and if I’m being honest, possibly a few years longer. I can’t remember the last time that I had a holiday where I didn’t bring my laptop or camera (before I retired from photography). I can’t remember the last “day off” where I hadn’t spent most of the time stressing about the mountain of a to-do list that I’ve had since I was 13\. In fact, I cant remember the last time I didn’t feel like I was *behind*. And yet the years passed, and time decided not to stop to let me catch up. Proof, I guess, that being behind is just a concept we’ve made up, in a world where we forget that none of our rules will matter if we lose our health or life. Then I left my forever-home in Kenya. A house I had been refurbishing — which led to me living in a construction site for two years — along with a studio I’d built from the ground up… All left behind in the span of two weeks. I never even got to use the studio more than once. I hit the ground running in London, focusing for two months on my health and fitness. Then I had a spinal injury, ended up in a very toxic relationship that emotionally took me to the level of my physical fitness — became homeless, lived with even more toxic people who ripped into my confidence and any sense of independence I had — and finally lost the only person I had counted on for support on a daily basis for 4 years. He shot himself on a beach. Asshole. And now, I was looking at sites for a similar route. Despite knowing that I’d never choose that route, simply because I knew what a gaping hole my good friend had left behind. I’d always thought I’d one day end up married to him — but he left, characteristically, because he wanted to spare his family the pain of looking after him as his illness progressed painfully quickly. Even in death, he thought of others before himself. He had found a way to be supportive to my closest friends, so the shock hit us all. After we got the news, my sister said something in the smallest voice that still haunts me to this day. “Don’t leave me, Melissa,” she pleaded, and I promised myself I never would. So my research was a lie, really. And yet, this moment of hitting rock-bottom once again taught me a few things. I hope that this will be of use to you. #### Being suicidal or at rock-bottom doesn’t mean you’re weak. There are people who write to me after every single one of my vulnerable posts with well-meaning advice, and the suggestion that a few activities will shift things for me enough for me to never hit those lows again. But those same people often are people who don’t know themselves, nay — they are people *in denial* of themselves. We are so used to seeing “depression” and uncomfortable feelings as a *bad* thing. Why? Why don’t we view the discomfort as a natural part of being human? Why do we view these things with shame? Probably because others treat us with a certain sense of pity when we are honest with ourselves about where we are at. But should we pity the person who embraces their lows with honesty and expresses that bravely, or pity the man who avoids a part of his own natural spectrum? You tell me. I’ll say this: once I post my emotions, express, and confront myself, I can happily continue with my life with excitement and joy. The only person still stuck in that emotion is the fool who assumes that any expression that makes them uncomfortable is a permanent state. While others define me by the thing they themselves are afraid to face, I define myself by the bravery it takes to express in a world that tries to silence truth at every turn. #### Sometimes you get more done with baby steps. I have been obsessed with ritualistic behaviors for a long time. I’ve been perfecting morning routines and trying to create a formulaic schedule to keep me at my best for years — and after hitting this low I realized that I needed to take a step back. I had reached a point whereby the appointments I had made to ensure I was at my best, were actually filling me with stress. Sometimes it takes hitting rock-bottom for us to realize that we are going the wrong direction. So I cancelled every single appointment and regular activity and tried to start from scratch. So let’s say you’ve constantly been failing at a particular personal goal or routine. Look at the actual feeling that you’re aiming for, and create simpler steps towards that. In fact, choose the *simplest* baby step that you can think of. So for example, if you would like to lose or gain weight — look at that goal with honesty. Weight changes are a medium, a path — they aren’t the thing you really want. Perhaps you want to feel attractive, or feel strong. So instead of choosing that rigorous diet or exercise that you know deep down you’ve somehow never managed to do every day — what’s something you CAN do without fail — right now — on a daily basis, that will help you feel attractive or strong? I can guarantee it isn’t that 1-month plan you had made that you’ve been failing at. On my part, I understood that I clearly had been failing to go to the gym. Now, that doesn’t mean I’ll *never* be able to be that person who exercises for an hour every day. But during my lowest point, I needed to create a routine that matched my desired feelings — strength and balance. So I chose simple 5-minute routines that I could accomplish in my current state — instead of a massive plan that was doomed to fail. Perhaps we sometimes set ourselves up for failure, so that we can prove to ourselves that we aren’t enough. Our subconscious is tricky like that. Maybe you’ll end up being that person who manages a rigorous routine one day. But until you find yourself there, for now it might just be a good idea to be honest with yourself and take baby steps towards the feeling you truly want to feel. You may just magically reach your earlier goals with ease — and a lot faster than you expected to. #### Relaxation is just as important as work. Matt Maddix and his son, Caleb, once did a Periscope livestream while they were rollerblading at around 5am. They said they considered that a productive use of their time, because they got to bond as father and son. Anything that moves you forward is productivity. And yet many entrepreneurs and work-obsessed creatives punish themselves regularly by avoiding relaxation, splurging, and socializing. But what happens if you die tomorrow? What was the point of saving your enjoyment for a later date? Matt called it “destination syndrome”- constantly saying you’ll wait *until* a certain point to do that thing you want to do. And yet, I’ve found that my most productive and enjoyable moments were the ones where I said “Fuck this” and decided to relax even when I hadn’t planned to. Follow what your inner child wants — sometimes it knows better. Besides, I read somewhere that relaxation is like sleep for your brain — it allows you to subconsciously recover and come back with fresh ideas. Why would you deny yourself that? #### Your “fuck it” muscle is the most important one you have There is a difference between giving up and surrendering. I find that surrendering to circumstances at times, allowing myself to go along with the moment instead of stubbornly sticking to a plan — there is magic in this. This also counts for those uncomfortable feelings by the way. Owning up to — and healthily expressing — uncomfortable emotions will help you grow. There is so much power in being true to your current state, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. So all those times you’ve decided to be playfully reckless — without harming yourself or others — get rid of that parental notion that these moments are “bad”. Reframe that perspective — what if all those gut-inspired moments are actually the leaps you need to catapult you to where you need to be? Like any muscle, this sense of healthy recklessness needs to be practiced. Perfection is the death of all joy and forward movement — what can you do after this article that excites you and fills you with fear? Release that blog post, share those thoughts without editing them, pick up your phone to call that person, tell someone that scary thing that’s been on your mind, book that flight, buy that thing, sign up for that workshop, go for that massage, and for goodness sake, tell that person you love them. #### Nothing is permanent. Not even your rock-bottom. Not even homelessness. Not even debt. Nothing lasts forever — unless you decide to stay stuck there. You have more power than you realise. You can’t know what you don’t know, right? What if something seemingly impossible happened? What if some magic occurred that you hadn’t expected, because it came from a direction that you’d never been? Be open to possibility — and opportunity will occur. #### Nobody’s opinion is more important than your own. Unless you make it that way. If you stay true to how you feel and what you think in the moment, then everyone else’s opinions are just noise. That doesn’t mean I’d recommend hitting someone just because you dont like the look of them — but I’d hope that anyone who reads this far into my post will not be the type of person to do something like that. As long as you are true to your emotion in the moment, practice empathy before expressing, and then release through expression — your strength in your opinion of yourself will grow. You’ll find that opinions start to hurt less — and motivate you less. Sometimes we hit rock bottom because we feel the pressure of letting people down. We avoid saying no, and say yes to things that dont align with who we are. How much of your energy do you think that eats? Those who mind don’t matter — and those who matter, dont mind. #### Saying no is one of the best skills you’ll ever learn. Once you’ve figured out who you are and what you need, it’s not necessarily about changing or adding things. It’s about removing layers of BS that you don’t need — saying no to people, things, situations, environments and activities that don’t align with your truth. Get rid of that clutter. Stop seeing those people. Cancel those appointments. Leave that environment. Stop ingesting that stuff that makes you feel bad. Delete that account. No is a full sentence — you don’t owe anyone an explanation (though it’s often courteous). And once you’ve said no to all the “ok”, you’ll find yourself being able to say yes to everything that excites you and elevates you. “No” creates space — what will you make space for today? ### Life Lessons from Once Upon a Time: S1 E1 URL: https://www.melissanathalia.com/life-lessons-from-once-upon-a-time-s1-e1/ Last updated: 2026-06-27T13:36:11.000Z 💡 A note on the em-dash usage: Please note that this post was imported directly from my old Medium account. Medium has a habit of replacing any short hyphens with this now notorious em-dash symbol —. While I've been a writer for over 2 decades, I apparently never quite learned to use the em-dash in the "correct" way (which feels rather odd to my eye in terms of spacing). Therefore, if you ever see a post of mine that has one of these — it's either imported from Medium, been formatted "correctly" by a human editor ([see my thoughts on AI use here](https://www.melissanathalia.com/my-ai-policy/)), or... it's the time of the robot takeover and ChatGPT has infected my brain. Either way, it's not my fault! What part does belief play in our reality? Is hope unhealthy, or necessary? Here are the things I learned from S1E1 of Once Upon a Time. ### Belief is necessary for something to become. I can’t bring up this lesson without also sharing a profound goosebumps-inducing clip from an underwhelming movie based on a brilliant book. What am I talking about? Why, Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather, of course! In the clip, Death — a surprisingly loveable character in the Discworld series — explains what would’ve happened to the world if he and his granddaughter (*played by Michelle Dockery aka* [*Cousin Mary*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGWIzHtlB6M&ref=melissanathalia.com) *from Downton Abbey, fun fact!*) hadn’t saved the world. He then goes into a beautiful speech about how important belief is for humanity. I would have simply quoted it here, but I’d rather have you watch the video. Keep tissues handy. I digress. In the beginning of the episode, Henry says to Emma that all the fairytales in his book are true. She scoffs, obviously, and then he asks her to use her “superpower” — she claims to be able to always know when someone is lying — and she is silenced for a moment. > “Just because you believe something doesn’t make it true.” To which Henry replies: > “That’s exactly what makes it true.” I could probably wax on for hours on what truth is, but I’m not here to get philosophical. I will say this though — the theme of belief being necessary for things to become is both a philosophical and spiritual idea, and I would urge you to chase up after this in your research (if you feel compelled to). Having said that, this sort of idea always brings up arguments in the form of Rachel Anne Dolezal, which is often used as an argument for people to invalidate claimed identity by marginalised individuals. I’d therefore not like to get into this discussion — not because it shouldn’t be had, but because all truths can be untrue to some — but this doesn’t invalidate its absolute truth for others. We are still navigating the tenets of identity and its subtleties, as a species, and so I’m only stating what I know to be true. That doesn’t mean it has to apply to everyone. ### “Giving in to one’s dark side never accomplishes anything.” Archie Hopper, the real-world equivalent of Jiminy Cricket, tells Henry this lightly when he bumps into him with Emma. Emma seems a bit weirded out after the chat related to fairy tales, but this line plays a large role in the overarching theme in the series — that one *always* has a choice between the right and wrong thing. Note: “giving in” is very different from “embracing”, the latter being necessary for integration of seemingly out-of-control parts of the self that one might not like. Complex stuff, but… OUAT covers it in future episodes. Watch this space! ### “If you love them and they love you — they will always find you.” At first glance, this might seem like an unhealthy and cheesy line, but I see it as something simpler — and simultaneously more profound. We often find ourselves chasing unavailable lovers, people who aren’t ready to love or be loved — for various reasons that can include self-worth issues (that “not enough” syndrome is a beast, huh?). This line, said *often* by Snow White in various forms, is a reminder that the right relationships will occur because both parties will make equal effort. And sometimes, when you aren’t able to make that effort on a particular day, you can trust that the other party will meet you halfway. Clever girl, that Snow White. ### Art imitates life which imitates art and… back again? > “How’s a book supposed to help?” Emma asks (spoiler alert) Snow White irl this question. > “What do you think stories are for? These stories… the classics? There’s a reason we all know them. They’re a way for us to deal with our world, a world that doesn’t always make sense.” This particular series (if you’re reading this on my blog) is called Mimetic Mirror — named after the concept of mimesis, whereby it’s claimed that art imitates life. I tend to feel that the relationship between art and life is mutual, hence the word “mirror” — and so this series is all about how we can learn truths about life from art. I feel like this quote is an apt reminder that art — and story-telling art, specifically — help us make sense of the world. When we look at stories, from fiction with its massive fanbase (and resulting celebrity culture), to religious books, we have a consistent stream of inspiration — if we know where to look. I strongly believe that we can find the answers we need in ourselves, or in the tools we select in front of us. Whether that’s a cartoon, a series, a novel, or a Bible — there is wisdom to be found, if you keep your eyes and ears open to it. This series is my ambitious but passionate contribution to the pool of resources you might find. A translation of truth, if you like. ### Hope is more important than we realise. > “Look, I gave the book to him because I wanted Henry to have the most important thing anyone can have… Hope. Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing.” It’s so easy to speak of positive thinking, and tell people to simply be positive. Sometimes that is difficult. But there is a step between the landing of utter doom and the clouds of sunny optimism — and that is hope. Hope can be a great stopping point while you gather your energy and strength, and in many cases can be lifesaving. While some realists may disagree with giving people hope in certain situations, I really believe that it ends up being the saving grace in impossible situations at times. There’s such a fine line between hope and belief, I find, and I think a gentle hope in the back of the mind can be nothing but positive in terms of how it influences our behaviour. Just as long as that hope doesn’t take us over — and become the only driving force in our lives. As Snow White says above, believing in the possibility of a happy ending can be powerful — just as long as we don’t define that happy ending too specifically. The key — as always — is to act without expectation of specifics. Any sort of happy ending will do *(pause, ahem)*. ### Sometimes people leave for our own good. > ”You dont have to be hostile. I know you like me. I can tell. You’re just pushing me away because I make you feel guilty. It’s ok. I know why you gave me away. You wanted to give me my best chance.” Have you ever looked at someone you had once cried over, and realised that their departure was a gift in some way? It could be for the simple reason that it made you grow — or it could be because they turned out to be an awful fit. I bumped into an awful ex of mine two days ago. One of those small men who gets a kick out of jokes at other people’s expense, a boy who lets his lack of self-awareness affect those who he can’t touch. A fellow who invests so much importance in his style because he needs to cover up the lack of character that lives inside. You know the kind (well, I hope you don’t). He made a mumbled comment, we hugged amicably with a meaningless “how are you” as I was a bit distracted by the fact that I was on Voxer. As he walked away, hurrying to catch up with the two ladies he was with, he turned around and pointed at his face, saying (with a smile), “Wow! You’re a bit red in the face!” (I have a skin condition called rosacea). It reminded me of the “joking” comments he had made about my music career, body, and clothing in an equally juvenile way. As I looked at him with my face scrunched up in the face-scrunchy version of an eye-roll, he laughed to himself and walked off. And I realised at that moment that I was so grateful he had ended things, and that his toxic behaviour was as far away from me as possible. He clearly hadn’t grown in the 2 years since we had connected — and I was grateful for the gift of his absence. So while Emma left with a conscious awareness that her departure would be better for Henry, sometimes people’s absence is a gift that you only truly understand much later. I hope you enjoyed this breakdown of the lessons learned from the characters in Once Upon a Time — let me know if you watch the show too, and whether this was helpful!